Ba, ba, ba, ba.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba.
Well my Dad with Alzheimer’s Disorder (DA) has turned a new page. He must of had a large number of neurons die-off in his brain at the same time. Suddenly Dad has absolutely no short-term memory, has a continuous need to return to his life in Chicago (we live in Florida) Of course Dad believes Chicago is just a 40 mile trip from our present home, instead of the 1300 mile trip reality demands. So now we find ourselves up at all hours of the night trying to stop Dad from running away. We find ourselves making up stories to help Dad accept his new surroundings. Dad, “I have to get to Chicago, I’m starting a new job tomorrow. Me: “Dad, your job called and said they had a terribly fierce snow storm and that their offices will be closed for at least a week while they remove the snow. ”
I’m sleeping
And right in the middle of a good dream
Being up at all hours of the night with Dad, it’s not bad. I’ve just reverted back to my attitude when I had a newborn baby to feed every two hours. I learned if I didn’t make it a big deal about losing sleep, it was a lot easier to live with – and it was.
Like all at once I wake up
From something that keeps knockin’ at my brain.
Dad has packed every piece of luggage he owns. Dad says he had to go home to take care of his mother. Which takes up down the road of reminding him that his Mother and Father are gone. Dad cries for a while as he grieves anew. DBL collects the packed bags and places them in the attic until this crisis is over. We shake our heads and say there has got to be an easier way.
Before I go insane I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed
Screaming out the words I dread:
Eventually I started making up all kinds of wild stories to keep dad in a happy frame of mind. He’d notice a hub cap missing from the car. I’d say I lost it while riding in a demolistion derby in town. Dad would rave that I would do something so immature. I’d smile and he’d realises I’m just kidding.
“I think I love you!”
Last night I sat next to Dad’s bed and just like a meditation tape I begin to prepare Dad for meditation. I take Dad down an imagine road to help him relax and slip deeply into sleep. We try deep breathing exercises. He fights me by reminding me that he has to go to Chicago in the morning. And I continue, one by one addressing his fears and removing the fears (this type of meditation uses a great deal of imagination). And after an hour or so, we end up at a place where we’re floating in the clouds surrounded by guardian angels. I invite his entire family to join us in Spirit and they do. Dad finds this the most comforting. Dad asks me the names of his angels. I draw on my bibilical knowledge of Angel names. And we’re floating with the angels who will stand over us all night until morning arrives. Dad starts snoring. I wait a little while longer and then creep back to my bedroom and bed. Where I fall into a deep sleep. Until 2 am of course when Dad wakes me up, with all his belongings in his arms (since all his luggage has dissapeared). You might think my meditation was a failure, but I tell you, it was much easier to get Dad back to bed (just a few minutes) so I could returned to my bed of dreams.
This morning
I woke up with this feeling
I didn’t know how to deal with
I plan on continuing the meditations to see if I can help Dad allay his fears and relax. Wishing you all a sweet night sleep.
And so I just decided to myself
I’d hide it to myself and never talk about it
And didn’t I go and shout it
When you walked into the room
“I think I love You.”
I think I love you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
A love there is no cure for.
I think I love you.
Isn’t that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I’ve never felt this way.
I don’t know what I’m up against.
I don’t know what it’s all about.
I got so much to think about.
Hey, I think I love you.
So what am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid that I’m not sure of
A love there is no cure for.
I think I love you.
Isn’t that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I’ve never felt this way.
Believe me,
You really don’t have to worry.
I only want to make you happy
And if you say,
“Hey, go away,” I will, but I think better still
I’d better stay around and love you.
Do you think I have a case?
Let me ask you to your face:
Do you think you love me?
I think I love you. Many Thanks to David Cassidy for the use of his lyrics.
