Alzheimer by any other name is still….

 

January 2005
Mom calls to give us the news.  The doctor thinks dad may have Alzheimer.  No Way!  I exclaimed!   Mom explained she and  DS started to notice some odd behavior.  Dad got lost on his way home from work.  Dad had an accident in the bathroom at work.

The family often responds with denial.  When they discover their love one needs extraordinary help.    Statistics demonstrate that when a love one presents Alzheimer.  The family is challenged by this news. 

Not surprisingly, Alzheimer is not a respecter of intellect and strikes indiscriminately.  Your loved one with Alzheimer’ who used to be the family’s provider, was never sick a day in his life and performed brilliantly with his career choices (in this writer’s humble opinion). 

How could Alzheimer happen to Dad??  He was bright, a provider, good father. 

Doctors now agree that as our population grows older more and more people will succumb to either dementia or Alzheimer.   And there’s a good chance that 25% of the population will either become a caretaker OR need caretaking themselves. 

This is the opportunity that presented itself to us. 

We always had the opportunity to ignore the obvious opportunity or simply acknowledge that we were too busy with our immediate families.   After all, sometimes the best medicine is to wait and see?  Isn’t it?

But what about our father, who needed help?  Who would address this need with dad? 

Mom, left with the charge of managing Dad did the best she could, considering her own personal challenges with diabetes, kidney dialysis, and so on.   

Mom quickly became overwhelmed with the caretaking of Dad.  Dad was struggling with the disease and oft times blamed mom for the greater challenges of losing one’s memories. 

September, 2005
This took a toll on Mom and one day, suddenly, trajically….we lost Mom.

The role of Caretaking is a difficult one, and requires support, daily breaks, and lots and lots of love.   A lesson learned too late.

Mom’s caretaking days were over.

And it was time for the family to step up to the challenge.

In the midst of a Family Death, Confusion abounds.    Again the family was caught off-guard and had no plan in place for taking care of Dad.  Every family has heros and this time the job fell to my DS, who lived in the same state as my Mom and Dad.  Although DS at the time was moving to Florida.  DS, not one to side-step a challenge stepped up to the plate and she and her husband took charge of helping Dad with the selling of his estate and relocating to Florida.  

Three months later, …Dad moved in with DS and DBL.