From a Distance

Well, I’ve been telling you all about my family and how we each pitch in to help with my Dad who has Alzheimer’s Disorder (AD).  There is one more person in my immediate family I need to tell you about.  And that person is my DS#2.  DS#2 and DBL#2 (her husband) live in Washington. 

[From Left:  DS#2, Dad]My DS#2 and her family settled  in Washington  State, as that is where DBL#2’s family lives.  DBL#2 is DS’s husband and they have been married to each other for twenty-two years.  [To the Right and above:  DBL#2 is the family clown]Their two (2) children, David and Erin are in college currently.  DS#2 and DBL#2 help out with Dad when ever they can.  In the past when DS and DBL needed a break (and before I moved here), DS#2 and DBL#2 would take dad in for a week at a time- to give DS and DBL a much needed break from Dad.  DS#2 and DBL#2 are both school teachers (DS-Music Teacher, DBL#2-Science & PE).  Last year DS#2 won the honor of “teacher of the year” in her school district.  She has been a music teacher for about 30 years (give or take).  DS#2 has always seen her job working with the children as a ministry in itself.  Music is such a good cure for so many things.  Here is a verse from a song that reminds me of my DS#2.  Her heart is directed on the right path….Thanks to Bette Midler for this beautiful song.

From a distance we are instruments
marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.
They’re the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

While DS#2 and their family do watch us from a distance at times.  They join all of us for family vacations.  Last year we went on a family vacation to the Caribbean, all of us. It was a really nice time where we all got to know each other all over again.  Even though DS#2 and her family are so far apart from us, they still reside in our hearts. 

Why write a blog about our Family?

Well, like every family, there are concerns about me exposing all the skeletons in the closet.  Another part of my belief system that conflicts with my families ideology.  I believe every thing stuck in the dark should be dragged out and left in the full sun, so it can be healed.    And lets just begin by saying that in my family EVERY ONE is very sensitive.  And I’m the one in the family who is the clodhopper who unmeaningly stomps on everyone’s feelings.  Open Mouth, Insert Foot.  So if you’re a family member who feels stomped on, please accept my sincere apologies.

Here’s why I do this….

Quoted from janeybird.wordpress.com
“I want to change perceptions and perspectives in society so we don’t run and hide from these things, but really try to do what is right and best for ourselves as we thrive on this planet.  The thing is, it’s terrifying to see. We can all be in this boat in an instant, or gradually in our older age. All of us. “

I had a really difficult time putting my thoughts into words that’s why I thought our families’ blog was important.  Then I saw another blog, that put my intention most eloquently.  Thanks Janeybird!  You’re the best!  I love your blog!

How could we keep this event to our selves?  Our country is on the verge of an epidemic with Alzheimer Disorder (AD).  If we’ve found something that works for all of us, we should share it.   In essense it comes down to the golden rule.  Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.   Is it difficult to do?  Yes, damn right it is.  But also so worth it.   Not just because of the fun factor, but because its the right thing to do. 

How we blow off steam
So many times DS, DBL and I review an action that dad consistently does, and when we discuss it, I have to shout – Stop it, I’m going to pee my pants! (Cause we’re laughing so hard.  Just to assure you, Dad is not home at the time.  And cannot overhear this conversation.)

Alright I’ll share one funny incident with you.  Dad has a Shitzu named Kaitlyn.  Actually it was mom’s dog, and Dad inherited it after Mom passed on.  Dad and Kaitlyn are inseparable.  In the evening when Dad gets home from the Senior Center, he spends time with Kaitlyn, brushing her, greeting her, taking her for a walk.  Dad asks every day if she was fed.  (Eric always feeds the dogs).  Kaitlyn should weigh about 10 pounds.  But because Dad is always feeding Kaitlyn scraps – she weighs 30 pounds.  A regular roly-poly.  As I mentioned, Dad takes Kaitlyn for a walk every evening.  Then a few minutes after they get back, Dad says to Kaitlyn, OKay Kaitlyn are you ready for a walk??  Let’s go for a walk.  Kaitlyn, thoroughly confused, looks at Dad like he’s crazy?  But Dad ushers her out the door anyway and off they go.  This activity will repeat itself over and over again until we stop Dad and say… Dad, you already took Kaitlyn for a walk.  Dad will say, OH, I did?  Okay.  Then Kaitlyn wanders over to her bed and plops down (with great relief).

Anyway back to the primary topic.  I write this blog in hopes that other people will benefit from it as they work with their own families with Alzheimer’s Disorder (AD).  When Alzheime’rs presents itself, a family is presented with many, many choices.  Our family is an example of one choice/path.  While another family chooses another path.  I hope you benefit from our families example of how we chose to work with Dad and his Alzheimer.  I hope our example is worthy of your attention.  And wil lead you to good places.  We have benefitted from the help of many different Alzheimer’s support groups, caretaker support groups, the help of many doctors, nurses, pharmacists, etc. with how to manage Dad and his illness.  I myself am grateful to my DSand her DBL and their excellent leadership qualities. 

Wishing you your highest good.

Hey, Hey the gangs all here, or not?

Hi All,
Well as you are aware this blog is about a family gathered around a loved one with Alzheimer’s disorder. 

DB, my brother, who lives a little over 400 miles away in a distant city, is very supportive to my sister DS.  DB, while attending Grad School dropped everything and went to Chicago to help DS close down Dad’s estate the last month before the family (DS, DBL, Dad) moved back to Florida.  DS, overwhelmed with the job of moving Dad out of a house he and his family lived in for over 35 years was grateful.  DB is the artist of the family and it could be said that he is one of the more sensitive members of our family.  DB was always very available to my mom while she was still with us.  Right before Mom’s death, DB decided to return to school and get his graduate degree. 

We all love DB very much.  We admire him and are very proud of him.  And if the truth be known, Mom greatly loved and appreciated DB and all the help he provided her.  Mom told me over and over again.  Anyway, As I mentioned, DB lives a good 400 miles away.  But still makes it to the house to visit on all the important occasions.  He has actually found a way to make the trip in one day. 

We enjoy seeing him when we can.  And Dad really appreciates seeing DB when he finds the time to drop in.  ( – :

Believe it or not, there is one more family we need to introduce here.  However, I’m going to save this one for another day. 

Wishing you the very best the universe has to offer.